Bodge job alert!

guitarz.blogspot.com:
Bill found this Strat body with an alarming pool extension on eBay, and comments "I think someone may have been trying something like Clapton's Mid Boost circuit. Tragic."

Well, I'm not so sure. It looks to me like someone wanted somewhere to hide illicit substances. (And yes, I do remember the story about a Squier Strat impounded by Customs because they found its body to be made from cocaine.)

Either that, or someone was trying to make one of those easy-to-smash guitars.

G L Wilson

Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 9th year!

When relics go bad... Mexican Tele abused with power tools

guitarz.blogspot.com:
I was going to just let the pictures do the talking, but I want to quote from the eBay listing of this very sorry-looking Telecaster:

You are bidding on a very cool guitar. [Who says I'm bidding? I was just LOOKING! - GLW] It's (sic) name is TED. Once it was a boring, almost offensive Mexican Telecaster with a Fishman Bridge. Now it is an edgy monster of a Telecaster that will get you more compliments than you can imagine. This guitar is in perfect working condition despite its appearance. It was disassembled, decorated, and then put back together with a stacked humbucker in the bridge position. I believe the middle and neck pickup are original. You can obtain an acoustic-electric tone with the Fishman, a traditional Telecaster tone, or both at once. Included in this package is a special sustain enhancing device attached to the headstock, the Fat Finger, made by Groovetube. It doesn't actually increase sustain, but it is a good conversation starter. Enjoy bidding on what some consider a work of art.... and yes, that belly cut was done with a sawzall. This guitar does currently need to be setup, but will play great once it is. A fender gig bag is included in the sale.

Truly dreadful.

What kind of compliments is this seller speaking of? "Hey buddy, you made a good ol' mess of that guitar with your electric drill, didn't ya?"

I would find the comment about the Fat Finger sustain device not helping with sustain but being a "conversation starter" hysterical, if I wasn't so appalled at the gross incompetence so clearly on display here.

G L Wilson

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A Squier Showmaster in distress

guitarz.blogspot.com:

The seller of this Squier Showmaster currently for sale on eBay tells us that:

I did the distressed green finish myself - I can guarantee there is only one like it in the world

You don't say?

G L Wilson

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When Relics Go Bad ... (again)

guitarz.blogspot.com:

At the risk of being accused of writing yet another blog post which has "content generated by other people" (apparently ALL my content is generated by other people - see the comment by "Guest" here), I'm going to share with you this rather inexpert "relic" job on what apears to be an otherwise perfectly good Squier Strat.

This horror was spotted by Suzanne, who comments that "Heavy relic is putting it mildly. That thing looks as if it belonged to Sloth from The Goonies."

G L Wilson

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Another imcompetent DIY job

guitarz.blogspot.com:
If you really really really have to cackhandedly carve up a guitar body, then it may as well be a cheap Strat copy. You wouldn't want to ruin anything decent. Guitarz reader Biliby Iwai suggests that perhaps the desired effect was to make something resembling a Fender Musiclander (aka Swinger). Whatever the intention, it looks bloody awful.

How can anyone imagine such incompetent "customisation" can actually be an improvement? How do they have the nerve to use the word "customised"?

Basically for the Buy It Now price of £18.99 you get some cheap Strat pickups and other hardware. You may as well chuck the body.

G L Wilson

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When Relics Go Bad

To quote from the eBay listing for this poor Thinline Tele:

"I 'modified' this guitar by dragging the body (without the neck and hardware obviously) down my driveway behind my 66 Mustang and then I set it on fire for a while."

I think that says it all.

Thanks to Rich for emailing me this one.

FIVE pickups on a Strat?

This is one of those "WHY?" guitars.

This Strat-a-like guitar has been fitted with two additional pickups, and wired up so that the 5-position switch can select only one of each of the five pickups at a time. I can't imagine this would be very useful at all. On/off switches for each pickup would surely have been a better idea allowing you to choose pickups in each and every combination you could desire. As it is, it's very silly.

Note also that the seller also has committed the cardinal sin of putting a Fender decal onto the headstock of this non-Fender guitar. It's about time people stopped this illegal and dishonest practice. I don't care if he points out in the listing that it's not actually a real Fender guitar. If it's not a real Fender then the Fender logo does not belong on it. End of story.

I'm still looking for that picture of a Strat with nine pickups.

When Relics Go Bad

The creator of this sorry-looking Telecaster ("I got the parts for it and put it together") claims that it plays better than a $3,500 Fender Custom Shop Relic Telecaster. I'm sure the Fender wouldn't look as much of a dog's dinner as this mess.

This is the problem with DIY "relic" guitars. The creator usually goes too far. This just doesn't look like genuine wear and tear. It looks like exactly what it is - a guitar that someone has deliberately knocked about and taken a sander to.

The seller also informs us that "The guitar's neck was sanded down and has a relic coloring from actual sweat." How, I wonder, did he collect the sweat? Did he carry a bottle and a tube around with him and somehow syphon the sweat into the bottle when working out? Actually, don't answer that. I don't want to know.

For a much more tastefully-realised relic job on a Telecaster, keep checking Cary's Electric Guitar Review.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr... What an IDIOT!

This kind of thing just makes me really angry!





This poor old Strat has been horribly abused. Have you ever seen such an appalling so-called "relic" job? The person who did this should be thoroughly ashamed of themself. Look at the back of the neck where it appears to simply have been set on fire. Check out the melted volume knob - as if that's really going to happen through the wear and tear of constant gigging. The fingerboard has been hacked away mercilessly - it's hardly the effect you'd get through constant playing and genuine use.

I've never been a fan of the whole "relic" phenomenom. The first time I ever saw some Fender Custom Shop relics I laughed my head off - especially when I saw the price. But at least the Fender Custom Shop guys know what they are doing, unlike the complete amateur who butchered the above Strat.

UPDATE: This piece of garbage sold for US $705.00 (approximately £339.00). I despair not only because of the complete ineptitude on display by the guy who carried out the "relic" job on this instrument, but also because it seems that there are people out there who are actually impressed by such amateur butchery.